Today I was not feeling well.. and i felt so insecure.. it's about my future and it's about my life.. I have to make decision whether I have to stay here in Milan or go back to Indonesia.. I want to know God's will for me.. I want to stay if He tell me to stay, I will go home if he tell me to go home.. But now I don't know yet.. I'm still praying for that..
I feel like I'm at the intersection.. At the intersection and I can't decide where should i go, which part should I take...
And when I found this song again.. But in a different version.. Sidney Mohede cove this song and it makes me love this song more... (actually I gave this song for my boyfriend on our last 25th monthiversary on last May 23, 2012, I recorded my voice sang this song..)
I shared the link of Sidney Mohede version to my boyfriend and I started to listen to it and suddenly God spoke to me like this... "Actually this song is also represent my feeling to you dear... I have died everyday waiting for you, don't be afraid cause I have loved you for a thousand years and for a thousand more..."
I started to cry... and suddenly all the fears has gone away.. all my worries about my future, all of my insecurity.. I feel like God has shown His great love through this song.. and I just cried with big smiles.. every tear was because I'm so thankful that Jesus is my God and He loves me a lot.. He has his own way to speak to me and for me to walk with Him, with His love everyday is so precious and never be the same.. I always experienced many surprising, lovely things with Him through my journey with Him... O God I'm really amazed for what you have done today.. by Your way of telling me that You are with me...
Thank youuuu God for the song.. Yes Lord, I knew that You have died for me... I will not be afraid anymore because You have loved me for a thousand years and a thousand more... :)
Here's the song that I was talking about...
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow
One step closer
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I love you for a thousand more
And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I love you for a thousand more
Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What's standing in front of me
Every hour has come to this
(A thousand years - Christina Perri)
Do Not Worry (Matthew 6: 25-34)25 “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?
28 “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; 29 and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
31 “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.